Ganondorf and Bowser's Quest to get Laid!
by MadFearow
Summary: Ganondorf and Bowser, Nintendo's two biggest villains, go on a quest to get some action. Rated M for sexual humor.


**Ganondorf and Bowser's quest to get laid!**

**By MadFearow a.k.a. Mr. Snorlax1986**

Note: I'm going back to the old days where I made (im)mature comedy fanfiction. Because of the sexual humor, this fic will be rated M.

**Chapter 1: At the Mall**

Bowser and Ganondorf were in their apartment one ordinary afternoon. Bowser was watching TV as usual, and he was trying to drone out Ganondorf's noises from his bedroom. Yes, Ganondorf was doing his "thing" again.

"Ganondorf! Can you please keep it down?" Bowser yelled. "And you better not make a mess in there!"

"I'm trying not to!" Ganondorf replied, in between gasps of air.

Bowser rolled his eyes as he tried to increase the volume of the TV. He couldn't. The TV was already at max volume.

"Hrrrrrng!" Bowser heard Ganondorf moan in pleasure. "Damn, that dude is so loud!"the Koopa King complained to himself. "Hmph...well at least he's done."

A few minutes later, Ganondorf emerged from the room, looking refreshed as a guy would after a good wank.

"Had fun?" Bowser asked sardonically as he turned toward Ganondorf.

"It was great," Ganondorf replied. "Gotta love women with horses porno."

Bowser suddenly felt like giggling. He tried to stifle his laughter but it was hard for him not to chuckle.

"What?" Ganondorf inquired. "I have many fetishes."

"Many weird ones," Bowser remarked as he got up and went to Ganondorf's room to make sure he didn't leave a mess. "That room better be clean or else I'll -"

Bowser paused and looked around the room. Sticky white stuff was all over the ceilings, computer, desk, and everywhere! Bowser felt a lot of rage and he was ready to yell.

"GANONDORF!"

"Oops...sorry, man!"

But Bowser always forgave his friend for his messy business. Later that day, the two Nintendo villains decided to go to the mall to eat at the food court and buy some supplies. While they were eating, they were busy staring at the girls.

"So many chicks here..." Ganondorf said to Bowser.

"Yeah, man, sometimes I wanna just kidnap one of these girls, just like what we do to Peach and Zelda," Bowser replied.

"Nah, man, I'm over the kidnapping thing already. I want to get a girl the honest way. Sigh...Zelda is out of the question, since she's with Link."

"Yeah dude, I see what you mean. I can't have Peach because she's with Mario. I guess we'll have to look elsewhere."

They continued scanning the food court. Many of the girls were in groups, or they came with their boyfriends. A particular girl caught Ganondorf's eye. Upon getting sight of her, Ganondorf started drooling. She was a slender young woman, perhaps in her twenties, with long blonde hair and a pretty face. She was eating with a bunch of friends, who were also attractive. But she was the cream of the crop!

"Yo, Bowser, check this girl out," Ganondorf said to his buddy. Bowser turned to see who Ganondorf was checking out.

"Damn...she is hot," Bowser replied. "Yo, G-dawg...if you like her, why not talk to her?"

Ganondorf started to get flustered. "M-me, approach her?"

"Yeah. C'mon, be a man, don't be a chicken."

"Oh...okay, I will."

Ganondorf got up from his seat and started walking toward the girl and her friends. He had to be confident, be brave...after all, who could reject someone as handsome as himself?

As he approached the girls, trying to calm himself, something hit his head.

"OW!"

"Hey...it's Ganondork!" a boy's voice shouted. The king of evil turned around to see Ness, Lucas, Toon Link, and Villager sitting at a table, laughing.

"You...you stupid kids!" Ganondorf yelled. "Don't you see I'm busy?"

The four boys continued to laugh. Ness taunted, "Hey Ganondork, why is there a bulge in your pants?"

Ganondorf looked down at his pants. There was indeed a huge bulge down there!

"Yeah, and why are you drooling?" Lucas asked. The four friends continued their laughter.

"Uh..." Ganondorf tried to wipe the drool from his mouth but it got all over his sleeves!

"Never mind them," the king of evil said to himself as he turned toward the girls.

It was too late. The girls caught sight of him and looked at him in disgust. They were packing up their things in order to get away from the drooling man with a hard-on.

"Like, ew! Get away from us, you creep!" one girl screamed at Ganondorf as they left the table.

"S-sorry!" Ganondorf sheepishly apologized. He could only watch longingly as the girls walked away. He turned toward Ness and co. and glared at them. He couldn't stop them laughing their butts off, though.

He walked back to his table, where even Bowser was laughing.

"You too?" Ganondorf yelled at his best friend.

Bowser couldn't stop laughing. "Ha ha...sorry man, you just got denied!" Ganondorf could only grimace as Bowser laughed his butt off.

When they were finished eating, Ganondorf said to Bowser, "Let's go home, man. I was totally humiliated."

Bowser nodded and said, "Fine, dude."

The two walked to one of the mall's entrances. Along the way, they saw Pikachu being carried in the arms of a pretty woman. Pikachu was sitting in the woman's arms, relaxing, wearing sunglasses, and smoking a cigar.

"Hey, what's Pikachu doing with that girl?" Ganondorf asked his best friend.

"Let's go over and find out," Bowser replied.

The two villains walked over to the lady carrying Pikachu and greeted the electric rodent Pokemon. "Yo, Pikachu!"

Pikachu turned toward the two Nintendo bad guys and greeted, "Sup, guys?"

"Pikachu, who's the girl?" Bowser asked.

"Oh, I paid for her services," Pikachu explained. "That's the way to do it these days, man. You gotta bribe girls with money."

"Ah..." Ganondorf and Bowser replied in unison. They pondered this a bit, before Ganondorf spoke up. "Where can we get these services?"

Pikachu pulled out a card (from somewhere) and gave it to them. "Call the number on that card. Ask for Yoshi. He'll arrange a session with his girls."

Ganondorf and Bowser looked at each other and grinned. Could this be the day they would get laid/

They said their thanks and goodbyes to Pikachu before leaving the mall and heading home. This was bound to be an exciting night.


End file.
